MeowMix

Investigating alleged Canadian predator Jessica Yaniv

World’s Worst Resume

It’s largely plagiarized. Surprise, surprise?

Several days ago the front page of JY’s resume leaked online. A full copy was found on the popular job posting board Indeed, which was then sent to Meow Mix for dissection. The sheer amount of cringe and hilarity is hard to really fathom, but let’s start with a couple highlights:

  • It’s 7 damn pages long.
  • It lists him as the President and CEO of his own one man business.
  • The formatting is incredibly awful, BUT, to be fair, this is likely generated by Indeed’s form, so we’ll cut him slack on that one.
  • It copy pastes from all over the internet.
  • It copies itself even, often saying the same thing repeatedly.
  • Page 2 is a literal block of text, top to bottom.
  • He doesn’t list a single client as a reference. In fact, there are no references at all.

The full file is available for download here, and is worth a perusal before reading on. A note to Yaniv…you posted your resume on a public site. Don’t go cry about it being private. We made sure your name and contact info was cleared out.

JY Resume DownloadDownload

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We’ll go through this page by page, starting at the top. I dare you to try to count the number of buzzwords and catchphrases.

Page 1

Yaniv introduces himself as the president, CEO, brand ambassador, team leader, and director of marketing for his one-man business, JY Knows It Business Consulting. I’d say he was also the janitor but Katie told us he’s a slob.

It goes on to list various things that have been entirely plagiarized from other sources, nearly verbatim

Page 2

There is a legend told by the Sherpa that guide people up Mount Everest that is said to aid in fatigue problems at higher altitude. Climbers often struggle to adapt to the thin air and have difficulty sleeping.

One time, a young Sherpa that had discovered the internet found this resume, and showed page 2 to everyone. It is said that nobody has ever finished reading the page without falling into a deep slumber.

Page 3

Now we see some of Yaniv’s other employment history, including being the owner of TrustedNerdDOTcom. He describes himself as the “Social Community & Tech Business Strategist” for We Make Stuff Happen.

He was apparently the North American Strategy and Market Development Executive for sComm, a company which seems to make products for the hearing impaired. His first line says “North American sales strategy focusing on Canada”. Hmm.

Interestingly, he says he was employed as the Social Media Specialist for Cimorelli for over 3 years – something that even Cimorelli has denied. He was never employed by them and never on their payroll.

Other noteworthy items include being the Product Marketing Manager for LifeLogger and a Revenue Canada clerk. Maybe he should use their proper Canada Revenue Agency name instead of their old Revenue Canada name that changed in 1999. Various competencies were tested during this time, where he rated a 1 out of 4 for “Change Leadership”, a 2 for things like adaptability, dealing with difficult situations, and impact and influence.

He ranked a 2 out of 3 for English writing skills. I wonder why he attacks immigrants for their writing skills?

Page 4

We’ve now moved on to page 4 and it’s more of the same – Revenue Canada and social media jobs. He says he was the Social Media Specialist for Michaela Grace Music. I wonder who that is.

He ends the page saying he was the (insert long shitty buzzword title here) for Karotz by Violet. This was a “smart rabbit”, as if anyone could think of a more stupid product.

Page 5

There’s one highlight here – he literally copy pasted the same stuff from page 2 onto this page, word for word. Nearly everything I showed copied above with the red arrows is repeated here.

Page 6

Congratulations on making it this far. Not many have. Nobody has ever seen this page of the resume until now.

Here, JY says he was a Campus Officer for Kwantlen University, and a beta tester for several “major Microsoft projects”. I’ve beta tested Android games. I guess that’s going on my resume.

Most interestingly is that he was apparently doing some teacher assistance work at a STEM program for grade 8 and 11 students at Semiahmoo Secondary School from 2003-2004. We’ll need to investigate if this lines up with the time when he allegedly killed someones dog after they outed him for abusing young girls at a school he was volunteering at for a STEM program.

Page 7

This actually starts at the end of page 6, but here we see Yaniv’s research and education history, including the 4-year period it took him to complete a 2-year diploma.

This is followed up by a giant block of text listing how many years he has playing with himself (I’m not even sure, I couldn’t make it through the whole block. It’s probably in there).

The page ends with his certifications, where he includes the fact that he’s licensed to drive and serve liquor in BC, and a couple Indeed assessment results.

There’s actually a page 8, but it appears to be a carryover from built-in Indeed scripting so we’ll call it 7.

So, would you hire JY? Leave a comment below and tell us what you think he’d be most qualified for!

Please consider a small donation to our site to help us cover our website costs and court records search fees. Please click HERE to donate to help us cover these expenses. Thank you!

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