I have to preface this entire thing with “allegedly”. Our sources are very good, but there is always a chance it’s just a big misunderstanding. Maybe this isn’t Jessica Yaniv Simpson at all and it’s an entirely different deep-voiced trans-creature calling salons up to request ball- waxing in the Lower Mainland. Right?
Before I get into the dark cloud, I’ll point out the silver lining – aestheticians talk to each other and word is spreading, fast. They’re learning how to handle Jonathan, and they all know what his scam is.
At least one Lower Mainland salon was contacted by someone that sounds exactly like Jonathan Jessica Yaniv Simpson and a Brazilian was requested. Fortunately, this salon actually does offer that service to males / trans-women, and they have someone trained to do it.
I bet you can guess what happened next. Did Jonny book an appointment? Did he show up and happily get his balls waxed?
Of course not. He disappeared. He’s not looking for waxing – he’s looking for victims.
Jonathan Jessica Yaniv Simpson is only seeking salons to sue. He has no intention of actually being waxed. He doesn’t have the pain tolerance or strength to sit there, and despite it being a ball-wax, he doesn’t have the cajones to sit through the procedure without crying for his incestuous mother Miriam to help him.
Check out MeowMix Merch! Reviews are in and “the quality is amazing”! Sale proceeds go towards MM costs.
On a related note, word is Jonathan has been crying about severe whiplash and extreme pain from a recent fender bender. This fender bender is extremely suspicious. The paint isn’t damaged on his car, there is no paint transfer, no scene photos, and no bumper damage. The only damage is the upper trunk lid and maybe rear quarter panels.
I admit it’s possible that a tall SUV or a pickup could have done the damage, but I’m still skeptical. Why is the damage centered on the vehicle and not full-width? A SUV or truck would be at least as wide, probably wider, than his car, but the damage is in the center. It looks more likely that Yaniv backed into something because he’s a fucking moron. Just saying…Car crashes leave evidence – paint transfer, certain kinds of dents, broken plastic and glass. This looks very unlike any car accident I’ve seen.
Why do I bring this up? Because Yaniv is crying about whiplash and you bet your ass he’s looking for another physiotherapist to treat him, and we know what happened last time – he was paid $2,500 in fuck-off money by a physiotherapist after Yaniv bounced on their bed and broke it in half.
Let this be a warning to all businesses in the Lower Mainland. Jonathan Jessica Yaniv Simpson is on the prowl for businesses to sue. If he’s using your services, be careful.
If You Encounter a Wild Jessica Yaniv Simpson:
- Where possible, keep Jonathan in areas with video surveillance and save the footage, no matter what happened. If he shows up on your premises, save the footage. You don’t want a chance of him making up a story later.
- If video footage isn’t possible, use the buddy system. Keep a witness close.
- Document everything – the time he arrives, what he does, what he asks for, his appearance, his posture and movement, and when he leaves. Did he look steady and strong in his walk, or was he wobbly and using a cane? Did he smell a certain way? Did he sound a certain way? Every detail could be important.
- If he calls in, record the phone number. If it’s via social media, screenshot the profile and conversation if you can.
- Jonathan is known to carry weapons and has a very short fuse. He is prone to violent outbursts, but he is also easily intimidated by strong people. Be confident when you face him. As sexist as this may sound, if you have a large alpha-male man nearby, make sure he’s watching JY. Jonathan is always on best behaviour when he knows he’s being watched and documented.
- Jonathan is a known alcoholic and suspected pot user. If you smell alcohol, you may be able to use this as a reason to ask him to leave your premises, but document it. Again, witnesses and video are important.
- Find a legitimate reason to avoid services if you can. The best Yaniv is the Yaniv that never comes to you, but be careful. He will try to find ways to accuse you of discrimination.
- I strongly recommend businesses contact EACH OTHER. Aestheticians, I know you’re in competition with each other but you need to warn each other and help each other. Ditto for physio clinics. If you see a wild Yaniv, report a wild Yaniv. Email [email protected]
- If Yaniv causes you ANY scene, report it to the police. I don’t care if it’s minor – you need to report it. Did he raise his voice and slam your door? Report it. You probably won’t get him charged, but having the incident reported and recorded is important.
- Consult your lawyer if possible, or consider banding together with others in your business association to hire a lawyer to give you a few hours of advice and support BEFORE you need him. A lawyer can tell you how to respond to him properly, how to avoid problems, and how to minimize risk of being on the receiving end of his next lawsuit.
Stay safe everyone – Wild Yaniv’s are on the loose and you never know when one will stampede.
Support MeowMix! Yaniv is bitching about his life being hard for the last 45 days – perhaps that’s because he’s spent the last 45 days suing people and faking injuries.
MeowMix is covering all of it, but we’ve incurred several hundred dollars in costs keeping up with him while almost all of his fees are waived. Donate here!
“and suspected pot user.” this is written like it the writer doesn’t live in Canada. About a quarter of Canadians surveyed legally use cannabis for medical and/or recreation purposes and Jessica is in the age range most likely to use it recreationally. Maybe if you live south of the 49th people may still be brainwashed to believe that cannabis is some kind of hard drug that is going to turn people into rapists and murderers.
That may be a reference to Yaniv’s reporting to police AND a newspaper that his previous home was burglarized by an unusual type of burglar who fed marijuana treats to Yaniv’s dog.
Heinous gossips who should burn in hell have speculated that Yaniv was trying to cover up his possession of weed, perhaps to escape the wrath of Mother.
It seems a little similar in method to his telling the RCMP searching his current strata that *ZOMG some evil person send me a kiddie porn help help!*
You’re a child molester that isn’t even allowed around his own family, so it’s no surprise that you defend Yaniv any chance you get. Child molester must stick together. You and Yaniv need to jump off a bridge together, that’s how much the world despises people like you.
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Who cares? If it can be used to get him off the streets, let’s do it.
Have you not heard of reefer madness? Seriously, may not be a hard drug old chap, but it literally says on my government sourced pot container, “half of people who use cannabis on a daily basis have work, social or health problems from using cannabis”. Yaniv / Simpson has major problems in all three of those areas, even if he doesn’t use daily it’s reasonable to assume that any regular consumption on his part would be a contributing factor to his mental, social and work issues.
I took that line “Jonathan is a known alcoholic and suspected pot user.” differently. I thought the wording was more along the lines of “we have evidence of excessive drinking/alcohol issues” and “we don’t have evidence other than word of mouth of pot usage.” And within context of the entire passage, I didn’t think it was a criticism of marijuana but rather a warning that he may be intoxicated in some way. Honestly, I would have added medication to that list as well. But again, just my interpretation of the passage.
This is correct. I don’t care that he smokes pot. I’m warning people that he’s been accused of being a pot smoker and he may be impaired when he visits.
Seem more like a brownie eater.
Hi Petch. Alcohol is legal too. It doesn’t mean it isn’t an impairing substance.
Nobody was talking about the legality of it. Thanks for coming out though.
I was going to suggest that SOMEONE pop on over to Jon’s house, borrow one of his many dildos and go fuck himself, but I’ve decided that would be wrong of me.
How many Americans besides me write on MM btw?
As true as this is, this is also dependent on the type they’re smoking, their behaviour could go either way, If they are on a Sativa dominant strain then it would have a more cerebral effect, a buzz or high rather than the sedation and mellowed effect that the Indica dominant strain would have. Fear, anxiety, panic or paranoia are all potential symptoms of smoking pot, we all know that this persons behaviour can be both violent and unpredictable whilst sober. Coupled with alcohol pot could well make this person more violent and or aggressive. What I do I know is, I wouldn’t want to be alone in a room with this person when they’re sober, let alone under the effects of a psychoactive substance coupled with alcohol.
Petch, You disgusting pedophile. Nothing you say is relevant or witty. You’re just an older somewhat literate copy of yaniv without the shriveled balls to pretend to like dresses. Neck yourself.
Clean up your life you fat fucking walrus motherfucker(literally). You’re a punchline to all those “teen girls” on Snap. Everything you’ve done you’ve done to yourself.
It’s AMAZING isn’t it? It’s like he watched too many Roadrunner cartoons and is doing his best to emulate Wyle E. Coyote. Every day Yaniv opens a another box from Acme and embarks on a new self-destructive mission.
I’m just amazed by Jonathan’s complete lack of self awareness. He genuinely believes that he’s smarter than everyone else. Even with confirmation from former classmates that he had a handler in school. Combine severe narcissism, a bat shit crazy helicopter mother, and a losing ticket in the genetic lottery and you get Jon.
Sometimes I envy his confidence. Apparently, if you’re gifted with average intelligence, you can tell there are people who are smarter than you are and people who, regardless of baked-in intelligence, have expertise you lack.
But at Yaniv’s level, you’re too stupid to know you’re stupid.
A colleague of mine once told me that stupidity is a self-reinforcing condition. We’re all ignorant and as we go through life we fill in some of the gaps of ignorance by learning a few things.
But stupid people can’t learn. They go on being stupid no matter how many people around them are gradually curing some of their ignorance. Stupid people, in fact, regard those who are learning as stupid and so go on being genuinely stupid themselves. There is no cure for stupidity.
Fucking profound observation and now personified by Yaniv.
You, by the way, have been one helluva force for good on Twitter. Just sayin.
I need this a Yaniv Coyote acme box cartoon for the front page.
Could the one place that did qualify but they don’t want to go to be a whiteness for the salons he is suing? Clearly jjys has a place to go so why bother others. Unless.. could it be.. jjys on a scam run again?! No way!
Ugly creature. Go work like normal humans do. Idiot.
Whiplash.. most likely from chugging your alcohol down to fast slamming your neck backwards yeah.
As the article stated, the damage it’s so small…
I personally think you probably rear ended a pole or such cause you where to busy with your phone harassing or filling more lawsuits that don’t make sense.
Or actually keep drinking. Let nature does it thing while you destroy your body even more. Chug chug chug! Idiot.
[rant vent]
You’re need in money so you’re seeking everywhere you can. Idiot. Digging your hole deeper and deeper still. How can you be ever so blind and dumb. My little toe has more IQ!
I’m surprised no one send you a Nigerian prince email yet with a nice big nasty virus attached that destroys your pc so you can’t contact kiddo’s anymore. You filthy creature.
Your greedy (and greasy) ass would click it in a second to get cold hard $.
And stay away from kids and teens you nasty.
Idiot.
[end rant] – sorry. That.. I.. yeah. You know..
Would it bad to make a Yaniv warning paper/pamphlet and send it to every business owner either by mail or e-mail to warn them.
Hang it in busy shopping area’s even.
I wish I lived closer. I would tag along hanging them up/going in stores. To protect fellow humans of this monster. Helping karma a hand till karma arrives.
Karma will come and Karma will be fierce!
Thanks for the update MM!
Your little toe’s sock fluff has a higher IQ
Now that CERB is coming to a end, he needs more money, so here he is. Too bad is name is mud and people know him.
Hey Jon, if there was an award for biggest waste of skin, you be champion.
And the ghosting of appointments is the reason why in my country the salons restaurants and doctors write down your name and address and phone number when you make an appointment.
If you dont show up without cancelling they will send you a bill via snail mail and make you pay for the missed appointment.
You’re damn right he’s stupid. In all of my 58 years I ahve never encountered a bigger fuckwit and I have done a lot of travel & met a lot of people in all of those years.
Okay, we need to create a handy guide, complete with those instructions, references to the ball waxing cases/lists of who he’s suing now, and pictures of him and mamma Yaniv. Get them sent out to every business within the area. (Via email or post)
Perhaps a pet project for some MeowMix fan?
Also I would add – if CCTV is not in use, pull out your phone and hit record, even just audio. Do it slyly, so the fat fuck doesn’t notice.
I would just tell him “sure, you can have a wax. We’re fully booked until December but if you call back then; we’ll be able to fit you in” over and over until he gets the damn message. – Fuck off you fat dickhead.
Simpson? How this that get attached to his name?
He legally changed his name to Jessica Simpson