MeowMix

Investigating alleged Canadian predator Jessica Yaniv

ATTN: JY – Tampon / Pad Instructions (So you can quit asking teens).

Editors Note: I’m not even taking credit for this one. LOL I just can’t. The writer knows who she is LOL. JY…Never ask a teen again. Here’s all the deets you need homie.

How to put on a Tampon:

  1. Try not to jerk off at the mere thought for all you creeps out there. Then, for the rest of you people, unwrap the tampon. The slim applicator tip should be rounded and strings should hang out the bottom of the No-Slip Grip Applicator. If you notice any flaws, do not use it.
  2. Get comfortable. Don’t worry, people are not gonna peep at you. Try sitting on the toilet with knees apart or standing with one foot on the toilet seat.
  3. Gently insert the tampon applicator into your vagina, not your asshole, this is not for sexual pleasure: hold the applicator plunger using your thumb and middle finger. Place the applicator tip into your vagina (not asshole) at a 45˚ angle. Now, gently slide the smooth, tapered applicator all the way into your vagina until your fingers touch your body.
  4. Push the tampon inside, if you’re a creep, try not to jerk off. push the plunger all the way into the barrel with your pointer finger. This will release the tampon. The plunger should now be inside the barrel. Still holding the plunger, gently pull out the tampon applicator. The tampon should now be inserted comfortably inside you in its precise place with the strings outside your body.
  5. Any discomfort? The tampon may not be far enough inside (or did you put it in your asshole didn’t you?). If this happens, just remove the tampon and try again with a new one. You won’t feel anything when the tampon is correctly in place. Or if you put it in your asshole you deserved that.
  6. Tampon Removal: relax your muscles. Try getting into the position you used during insertion. Gently pull down on the strings. The tampon should slide out easily. Do not flush the used tampon in the toilet. Wrap the tampon in toilet paper and place it in an appropriate waste container. If you put it in your asshole we’re not helping you.
  7. Wash Hands, that’s it, don’t send your used tampons to creeps to who want pictures and videos. Remember to always wash your hands after removing or inserting tampons and avoid weird creeps who wanna see that shit.

How to put on a Menstrual Pad:

  1. Remove the Wrapper. Again, try not to jerk off at the mere thought for all you creeps out there. With cleanly washed hands, remove the pad or pantiliner from the wrapper. Save the wrapper — you will need this for disposing the used pad later.
  2. Remove the Backing
    The backing of your pad will typically be a long piece of paper that covers the sticky back of the pad. Sometimes the wrapper doubles as the backing.
  3. Place the Pad, this pad is for menstrual cycles by the way. Not for fetishes.
    Center the sticky side of the pad in the lower part of your underwear — the area that goes between your legs. Be sure not to put it too far to the back or front. If your pad or pantiliner has wings, remove the backing (if necessary) and wrap them around the underside of your undies.
  4. Dispose of the pad, AGAIN don’t send your used pads to creeps to who want pictures and videos. After your pad has become saturated, pull it off your panties and roll it up like a sleeping bag in the wrapper from your fresh pad. Then toss it in the trash. Never flush a pad or pantiliner down the toilet. That’s it. It’s not very sexy.

FAQ

  1. Can I ask a girl to help me? No, that’s weird, we just told you how to use it.
  2. Can I ask a teenage girl in particular to help me? I mean I know I’m an adult and I just wanna jerk off to the stuff, but can…? No what?! Who does that?
  3. Don’t make me sue you in Human Rights Tribunal! Miss Devyn Cousineau already stated that Gender Affirming Care is important. What I’m trying to get is Gender Affirming Care. I have the right to creep on teenage girls for information. Well, we’ll report it each time and expose your creep ass behavior and keep you from teenage girls. Meanwhile, I hope the ones who actually needed this is helped.

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