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Jessica Yaniv Simpson’s Hilariously Bad Resume and Senate Aspirations

Jessica Yaniv Simpson's hilariously bad attempt to win votes by lying. Again.

We’ve seen it before. Jessica Yaniv Simpson’s 8-page resume was bad years ago. It’s still bad now, and he’s using it to suck for SFU Senate votes.

Before anyone goes giving credit to Jessica Yaniv Simpson for shrinking it to one page, this resume was posted by Yaniv to the SFU Senate candidates page, and it was limited to a single page.

It’s even more funny because it omits 100% of his real job experience, and it’s padded with every cheesy buzzword he could find.

Check it out.

Where to even start on picking apart this nonsense. I’m on mobile today so I’ll leave it to the comments section, but I do want to point out the hilariously cringy effort to suck attention from SFU by again claiming to be a winner of the Chancellor’s award, AND adding in that he was awarded the Thakore Visiting Scholar Award – something that SFU350 was nominated for in May 2022 – months before JY was part of the group.

Then, to go on and list participation with two unknown conferences from 15 years ago on his resume? So bad. Just, so, so bad.

The last thing I’ll say about the resume, ignoring all the grammatical errors, punctuation mistakes, and obvious attempts to inflate themselves, is that it’s hilarious that he doesn’t list any actual accomplishments. No references to success. No claims to have “increased business to Company X by Y% by doing ___”. It’s all just empty buzzwords, outdated jargon, and blatant lies. Fortunately everyone will see through it. We have multiple student sources at SFU and they all know who – and what – he is.

As you can see below, Yaniv threw his mangirl name into the hat for an SFU Senate role. He’s already claimed two previously vacant Senate subcommittee seats. He claimed to be elected, but we know he was the only person that applied, and was acclaimed. Weird that he brags about a “victory”.

Just like his “win” at Kwantlen, where JY held a very minor “student officer” role on council, Yaniv didn’t win anything. He signed up for an empty seat and then claimed to the world that he was elected. Imagine being that desperate for attention.

We’ve heard from multiple current Senate and subcommittee members that discussions are already happening to remove Yaniv from the subcommittee with a simple 2/3 majority vote. It won’t take Yaniv long to piss off that many people, so I look forward to pointing and laughing at that.

MeowMix challenge: if any of our readers have time, I’d love to see a REAL Yaniv resume. Example: 2019: served liquor samples at local stores. Took these skills online to create content targeted to underage girls showing them how to infuse gummy candies with alcohol.

Think you’re up for it? Send your submissions to jymeowmix @ gmail.com. Let’s show the world who Jon Yaniv really is.

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