jessica yaniv simpson

Jessica Yaniv Simpson Sues Vancouver Coastal Health Authority and Rebel Media Fights Back!

Because unsuccessfully suing all the other health authorities in the region wasn’t enough, Jessica Yaniv Simpson has taken their doctor shopping show on the road and found more people to target.

We can all make a pretty educated guess as to what JY is up to – fraud, theft, scamming the general BC population – but, to make it fair, I asked our lawyer friend to weigh in with their expertise on the matter. This is below.

I am unsure why this Notice of Claim is being served on VCH care of someone who is neither a lawyer nor an executive officer (we’re intentionally omitting her name).  I assume she was the highest ranking person Jonny reached at some point.  That does not necessarily make her the correct person to serve this on.  I am not about to make this easier for Jonny by specifying how he should serve the Notice of Claim, though (I know you’re reading this, Jonny).

Jonny is claiming $35k for “Personal injury damages under quantum and damage to property”“Personal injury damages under quantum” doesn’t really mean anything.  If anything, it makes it sound like he is claiming specific damages, which he is mostly not.  I would also point out that lines (a) to (d) are there for a reason, which is so that plaintiffs can itemize what they are claiming.  Our special friend doesn’t know what he wants or why, other than that he wants the maximum in small claims court because he is greedy.  It also looks like Jonny is paying filing fees again, so at least us BC taxpayers have a small blessing.

The alleged facts are, at best, jumbled (not to mention nauseating).  It is unclear to me how “liquid nitrate” can form a stick.  I assume that Jonny is equivocating between liquid nitrogen and silver nitrate sticks.  I suspect this equivocation is deliberate.  Jonny will pretend to have been confused when he is presented with evidence that he said one thing to one medical practitioner and something else to another.

A quick google search for the term “Liquid Nitrate Sticks” in quotes had no results, suggesting Jessica Yaniv may be a complete and total fucking idiot, scientifically speaking.

By saying “the nursing team at Three Bridges Clinic were destined to inflict [Jonny] harm”, he might be alleging intentional battery.  Or he might be saying that the injury he suffered was inevitable (i.e., VCH could not have prevented it and thus cannot be held liable).  Again, he’s either equivocating or stupid.  My money is on stupid regarding this statement, as the latter interpretation would be fatal to his case.

Next up – pleadings (such as a Notice of Claim) should not include immaterial allegations.  If he wants to sue the Provincial Health Services Authority, he should, and he should name this “certain independent contractor”.  This paragraph of the pleadings will be struck, assuming this eventually ends up before a judge.

I am not sure who wrote this third-person injury “report”, but I am assuming it is Jonny.  I suspect it is written in the third person to lend it a veneer of credibility, something that Jonny sorely lacks.  I am also very curious who “Mr. Swirl” is.  Is that code for Jonny’s future being flushed down the toilet?

Editor: Mr. Swirl is a local plumbing firm that contracted (or possibly hired) JY to do some marketing work for a few months in early 2021. Exact dates are not known but JY was eventually fired. According to the puppetmaster behind Arianna, JY said he was fired because he was taking up too much of the owners time and phoning him too often. Details are not confirmed.

Jonny is claiming $500 in specific damages for parking or taxis.  He is insane if he was taking a cab between Langley and downtown Vancouver and the amount for parking is ludicrous.  Again, the phrasing is ambiguous as to whether the cab was between Langley and Three Bridges or Pacific Centre and Three Bridges.  Characteristically, Jonny hedges by saying it is an “estimated amount”. 

Jonny is also claiming $4000 in specific damages for damage to a mattress, sheets, and mattress protector.  Again, a ludicrous amount for what was probably the cheapest IKEA mattress he could find.

I don’t need to go into specifics as to why the $35k for “inappropriate conduct and malpractice” is just silly/greedy.  However, I will note that Jonny has backed himself into a corner with his damages calculation.  Last I checked, $35k for general pain and suffering, plus $500 for transportation, plus $4000 for bedding adds up to $39,500 (mind you, it’s been a number of decades since I took first-grade arithmetic). 

That would put the amount of the claim beyond the jurisdiction of BC Provincial Court and into BC Supreme Court as fast-track litigation under BC Civil Rule 15-1(1)(a).  Sadly for Jonny, BC Supreme Court requires that the losing party pay part of the other party’s costs.  Jonny could abandon $4500 of his claim  to bring his claim back down to $35,000 and thus remain in the jurisdiction of the small claims court (Small Claims Rules, Rule 1(4)). 

However, that would suggest that the claimed $35k for pain and suffering is fictitious and was only claimed to maximize his payout.  Obviously, our stunning and brave friend would never be so deceitful!

I don’t know which firm currently has the contract to defend VCH.  I am, however, confident in saying that its lawyers would raise arguments that are at least as good as mine above.  At a minimum, they would be more competent than Expedia’s lawyer, and that this claim is going to give Jonny nothing, at best.

FYI Jonny – I’ve spent 1.9 billable hours (6 min increments) giving you this “corrective legal information”.  Given my current rate of $500 per hour, you owe me $950.  I am graciously waiving the customary 25% asshole surcharge (you’re welcome).

20211207, JY vs Vancouver Coastal Health Authority Notice of Claim
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Document images available here if the PDF doesn’t work.

The reality is we all know JY is hoping for a quick payout like he got from the physio bed lawsuit – a few bucks to go away. Fingers crossed that VCHA stands up and fights this fraud. We’ll be sure their defense team gets all the evidence…the sitz bath videos, the tampon fetish after the surgery, slapping his mangina, all of it. Plenty of evidence that JY abused / neglected it and any damage was a result of his own improper care for himself. Pig.

Moving on, Rebel Media has filed a notice in BC Supreme Court to throw out Yaniv’s lolsuit against this.

You can read the entire application below. A court date has been set for early 2022 for this to be heard.

20211126, JY vs Rebel Media BC Supreme, Application to Dismiss
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Document images available here if the PDF doesn’t work.