Every time I think this family can’t get more messed up they go and prove me horribly wrong. We’ve heard some great rumours this week and we’re excited to share the latest gossip about Jessica Yaniv Simpson, Miriam Yaniv, and Ilana Altmann with you.
To be clear, we don’t have proof, but our source seems knowledgeable and reliable. I have no reason to doubt this to be true – especially when you consider who we’re talking about.
First, Yaniv has been hiding at mommy’s apartment for some time now. He’s afraid of LangleyResident and others and he thinks his mommy can protect him. I can believe that. Miriam bailed him out of every ounce of trouble he ever had growing up and there’s nobody on earth that wants to stay in his condo with him. I can see him staying there.
But, Miriam has a one bedroom condo – the same size, possibly smaller than JY’s, at a measly 590 square feet.

According to our source, Ilana is sleeping in the bedroom, Miriam on the couch, and JY is literally sleeping on the patio outside. Free MeowMix merch to anyone who can get drone footage.
We’ve also heard that they have a new puppy, possibly a lab, and it’s staying there. So that’s Miriam, Ilana, Jon the Con, and TWO dogs in one 590 square foot 4th floor condo. How often do you think Jon’s puppy is getting it’s required exercise?
Apparently Jon has been denied a real service dog by several Canadian agencies and decided that he would make his own, so he adopted a puppy and he’s calling it a service animal. He says he’s going to train it himself.
Jon hasn’t even learned how to wipe his ass or brush his air and he thinks he can train a lab (a notoriously energetic working breed) to be a service animal while he sits at home diddling his mom and aunt? Right.
It would be a shame if anyone was to contact the Strata association and let them know that 55-ton-Jon is living at Miriam’s 55+ condo full time. That explains why they’re moving furniture around Miriam’s balcony every night.
We’ve also heard that the Strata that Miriam (and now Jon) are suing previously agreed to let Miriam install smoke/fire alarms that better met her needs. That wasn’t good enough for Miriam. She wanted the Strata to pay. When Strata said nope, she sued.
That sounds about right. This fucked up family can’t pay their own way for anything (unless it’s to stalk trust-fund-catfish across the country).
So, to wrap this up, Jon is a chicken shit coward that thinks he can train a service dog up and he’s living with his elderly mom and aunt to hide his latest con from Langley Resident. Now he thinks he can train up a service animal and he’ll be suing people (or filing human rights complaints) all over the place.
Update: here’s the tiny ass condo they’re all living in. https://www.cotala.com/26437
To report Yaniv for animal abuse, contact the BC SPCA Surrey Education and Adoption Centre at (604) 574-1711. Refer to past stories about Yaniv’s animal abuse on MeowMix. We will be watching to see if the dog is exercised and report a lack of sightings as animal abuse as well. Puppies need room to run. The only thing Yaniv’s run is their mouths. It would be a real shame if someone was to rescue the dog from Yaniv and give it a proper home.
To report the Yaniv’s for abuse of the buildings 55+ rules, contact the Strata BCS1359 by writing to The Owners, 8880 202 street, Langley, BC, V1M 4E7. They can fine Miriam for violating building rules. This could include reporting that she’s subletting part of her condo to Jon for business purposes, according to legal docs.
To catch the show yourself, Down2Earth cafe is on the corner right between the pedocondo and the crowded condo. MeowMix will happily post any pictures you take!
Costs are skyrocketing! Stop Jessica Yaniv Simpson from hiding their legal games behind the BC Court paywall! Please consider a small donation to helpus cover our costs.
There is no way this fat fucker is going to give the dog the required exercise. It won’t get enough running around their small pigsty. So it’ll likely turn very yappy at which point Johnny boy will turn aggressive.
Someone please get this dog out of its filthy hands. I don’t care if you have to kidnap it; I just can’t bare the idea of that fat slob abusing a sweet animal.
Not like Miriam or Auntie Batshit will do anything either. The whole family expects the world to provide for them, so they’re not gonna accept the responsibility of providing care for a dog…
John, if you’re reading this – you’re a real piece of shit. You got that dog not because you wanted a furry companion in life, not because you care, but because you want to attention seek and pretend you need a service dog. That dog is nothing but a tool to you, I bet you barely register it’s alive. You are the lowest of the low, utter scum and I cannot wait for the day your antics are publicly exposed and you get your fat ass locked up in prison.
I have fucking SEIZURES and I’ve never applied for a service animal.
HE is such a piece of shit.
Hi Jon, just wanted to give you fair warning, I have connections to an agency that risks their lives smuggling dogs out of China to save them from the meat trade. Rescuing a dog from a filthy overcrowded condo in BC would be child’s play for these people. Watch your back, Jon you just crossed into MY territory. Keep your eyes peeled, I’ll be making a personal visit very soon. You done fucked up 1 too many times. Tick tock…
Fuck yeah, Lisa Marie!
Thank you for saving my sanity.
The poor dog is doomed. I feel so bad for it.
Adoption is often under $500 but it being a small pup still I wonder who they scammed as such breed easily go for $3500. I don’t believe they have that kind of money at all.
Makes me wonder if they made some kind of pay later after I win court deal cause I won so much already..
Also if you see them and the state they appear in being not well taken care of themself nor any hygiene. Shame on whomever allowed to go the dog with them!
Fair chance they got them from a breeder who just breeds for $ and not well-being of the litter.
It makes me so angry!
Breeders, real breeders, that do it for love and not quickly earning some $ and are super picky to where their pet goes home too.
I had a baby antifluff last summer. I had several interviews with a lot people who wanted her before she got a golden home. A home I felt good with and trusted to go too.
No way the first best person was going to take her no matter how much cash they slammed down.
Agh so angry. Poor doggy.
Late afterthought about the sleeping on the porch.
I hope it rains…
Aye hailstones like golfballs!!
I hope a once a century lightning storm occurs directly over that poor, overly stressed balcony……while Johnny boy holds a fucking metal pole.
The dog is going to cause him so much problems that it will give us more laughs. 2 dogs on the 4th floor, I bet their place smells like dog piss.
The dog is going to be used to help create situations where he can claim himself a victim. I don’t see how he can pull off successful scams anymore since people are watching him like a hawk now.
JYS DID say in the strata lawsuit that he “rented a room/office” at Miriam’s condo. Guess the only free “room” was the porch!
Pups are a lot of hard work. You’ve got to watch them constantly because they get up to all sorts of mischief. My dog is three now and she never stopped causing havoc for the first twelve months of her life. I can’t see Big Jon getting off his fat arse to keep an eye on his pup if he’s in the middle of perving over some teenager online and I can’t see fatso taking the dog out to the garden after every meal to let the pup have a wizz/poo. Big Jon’s own standards of hygiene are appalling and he simply isn’t capable of taking care of a pup. Now there’s Big Jon’s temper and the way he lashes out. We’ve seen what the repulsive bastard does to reporter’s and we know Big Jon has a history of animal cruelty. I don’t have to spell out what’s going to happen here.
Can you imagine being so disgusting that even your own mom makes you sleep outside?
“According to our source, Ilana is sleeping in the bedroom, Miriam on the couch, and JY is literally sleeping on the patio outside.”
Maybe miriam has jon in a REALLY big dog crate on the patio.
“We’ve also heard that they have a new puppy, possibly a lab, and it’s staying there. So that’s Miriam, Ilana, Jon the Con, and TWO dogs in one 590 square foot 4th floor condo.”
That condo is going to knee deep in dog shit and jon shit in no time.
“Apparently Jon has been denied a real service dog by several Canadian agencies…….He says he’s going to train it himself.”
Riiiiight. I can see him strapping his on pads on the poor dog as “training”.
They’re all completely hateable. Get the dogs out and the three lunatics can fill the shitty condo full of carbon monoxide.
We warned you JY. We told you not to get a dog. You did it anyways. If you think hiding at your moms like a coward will stop people from rescuing that dog from you, you have a few surprises coming your way.
Don’t bother bonding with it, or even naming it. It won’t be in your possession long enough for the dog to even remember whatever stupid name you’ve probably already given it. See you soon Jonathan.
Thank you. Sincerely.
This person is a sick, sick shit. Perverted, obsessed, sick in the head slimy shit. It doesn’t deserve a pet rock let alone a little baby puppy dog.
Nasty dirty fucker. Too busy slapping its hatchet wound in the rain while living on mother’s balcony to care for a little doggie. Bastard.
You’re going to burn, Lardo. All that fat and grease will pop and sizzle when you burn in Hell. I take that back…I doubt Satan would even want you around.
Haha. Look at the big tough guy now. Mommy, protect me from the bad men who are making fun of me. Haha. You’re so pathetic, that dog won’t even love you.
there’s not enough peanut butter in the world to get that dog to like jon
For fucks sake you fat cunt, take your fucking dog home to your own condo, you’ll be perfectly safe there dick head. Why put your Mum and aunt through the pain and suffering of putting up with a violent, griftng, maggot like you? Why put the dog through living in such a confined space, a Labrador needs to run at least 5km every day, take the fucking thing for a run down the park you cruel cunt. What are you hiding from you fucking coward? I wish I was over in Canada sometimes, oh, how I wish. Keeping that dog in a condo without exercise is cruelty to the animal and your not even in your condo, you and the dog are living on your Mums balcony, fucking grow up dick head and take some responsibility, you’re a fucking nutcase. This won’t end well.
Apparently, pieces are falling off Jessica’s mangina like decades-old prunes.
Someone needs to check on the puppy. STAT.
It would be terribly hilarious if the results from this end up being the origin story of a real life zombie apocalypse.
Maybe his dog ate his “clitoris.” Jon is claiming it is now missing. Hilarious sound file on KF from LR.
Hey MeowMix, can we have a separate story about this? We haven’t had a genital deconstruction update in a while anyways.