Are Miriam and Jessica Yaniv Incestuous?

…and other questions from Jessica Yaniv’s Hawaii video.

In case you missed it, watch the Hawaii video in full here.

Jessica Yaniv and Miriam Yaniv

I have more questions than comments so…

We know they aren’t in Hawaii. Was that a joke? A deflection?

We know neither of their buildings have pools nor palm trees, but there are hotels in the area with palm trees, especially in nearby Sydney. Where’s he hiding?

We know Jonny was catfished. Who does he think he’s fooling? Rebel? Meow Mix? Kiwifarms? Everyone?

Yes Jon, we all know you’re stupid and desperate enough to get your dick wet that you’d spend thousands of dollars to fly across country for a catfish. We have zero doubt of it. You’re a fool in every way and so is your mother.

But the real question is why? Did the catfish make promises? Was she rich? Were her parents making promises? Why did you take your mommy? How did Rebel find you?

Why the fuck is your mother massaging your head and kissing you? Why do you appear to get butterflies and a smile when she touches your neck? This is the biggest I’ve seen Miriam smile, ever – while she’s bent over behind you WEARING A BRA. Are you and Miriam in an incestuous relationship? Why is your tongue out like that?

Who exactly are you threatening? And why would you think it’s a good idea to threaten to murder people while you’re facing charges for weapons and violence, along with civil suits? Good job proving your character, you moldy potato.

Why don’t you wash your face? You’ve got more black spots on your face than a field of poppies.

It’s incredibly creepy that you call a little girl you don’t know your stepdaughter. No mother would ever let that happen. Mother’s protect children. You’d know that if your mother wasn’t also a pedophile (stay tuned for part 3 of our Miriam Yaniv deep dive for proof of that!). Why do YOU think this is normal?

Why in the name of Colonel Sanders are you saying “mmmmm” at 1:35 as your mom pets your head? You look like you’re literally having an orgasm in the hands of your mother and it doesn’t look like it’s the first time

Why is your mom bent over in her underwear? Again? Why? I’m not going to shame her figure or anything. Kudos to her for wearing what she wants BUT why is she wearing a bra while massaging your head?

And why does Miriam refer to you as male? We have a friend that speaks Hebrew and we’ve come to two conclusions. First, your moms Hebrew writing is awful, barely literate. Second, in the Hawaii video she refers to you as male and tries to stop you from making threats, saying she would speak with the haters instead. Your own mother is trying to silence you.

Nobody cares your fiance is 19 Jon. Everyone is laughing at you for being catfished.

Jon…I promise you, if your fiance existed, Meow Mix would find her, or, like many before her, she would find us. But, I’ll just say this: I’m trying to find her. Now come and get me, tough guy.

You aren’t strong. You aren’t scary. You aren’t intimidating. You’re an impotent little man child that sleeps with his mother. There’s no part of you that scares me or anyone else. Don’t try to make death threats, you spineless little mole. You couldn’t even stand outside a hotel and say “no comment” to a reporter without calling for police. You ran and hid inside like a coward. You’re a weak, wimpy, scared, little worm. The lowest of the low.

Why are you trying to call out “pedos”? Nobody anywhere said anything about anything sexual with your imaginary daughter Jon. You’re the only one thinking those things. That’s why “pedos” came to your mind – because that’s what you are. You have sexual thoughts about children and a subconscious guilt about it so you try to project it on others.

Why would you try to claim that you trolled us? Are you serious? Listen up, lumplescreetchskin… You’ve never trolled anyone. You’re not funny. You’re not clever. You aren’t Pranky McPranksalot from Pranksville, Pranksington. You’re Jonathan fucking Yaniv, actual motherfucker and pedophile. You’re an awful liar with an awfully hard to look at face. When you stare at the ceiling at night and feel Miriams hands in yours, you know that your life isn’t normal. You’re so far fucked up that you’re irredeemable.

You think you’re smarter than everyone and you’re trolling people? Jon, I live in your head rent free. I took up a comfortable space and made it home. It’s the only actual bright spot inside that brain of yours. Lots of dark alleys in your little brain, and lots of weird shit, but there ain’t no comedy clubs in here dude. Half the lights aren’t even on and the elevator between your top and bottom eyes doesn’t even go all the way up. You aren’t trolling anyone. You’re defeated and you don’t even know it.