jessica yaniv simpson

Jessica Yaniv Simpson Weapons Forfeiture Details

MeowMix first reported on April 9, 2021 that a 490 application was filed by Crown, most likely to finalize the forfeiture of the items seized from Jessica Yaniv Simpson when he was arrested in 2019. Thanks to previously unavailable court documents – not even on CSO – we can now confirm this to be the case, as well as provide details on what was seized.

Normally this would be no big deal, but the items seized are bloody hilarious and they only go to show how desperate Yaniv is to be taken seriously as a woman, despite the fact that he looks like the offspring of a baboon and a balloon.

First up, the “Damsel in Distress” taser. It’s hard to say which one he had for sure because the model isn’t listed, but it says black. The only black one on the manufacturer’s website is called the “Get a Grip” model. Fitting.

The second item was the “Damsel in Distress” camera/taser. The closest I could find online is this. Damsel? More like dude in a dress. Again, the desperation to be seen as a girl is hilarious.

jessica yaniv simpson

Lastly, two pepper spray products made by Sabre Red. The colour isn’t shown on the court order, but the website shows they come in pink.

Our court source also reported that bear spray was returned to JY. This may raise eyebrows, but pepper spray designed for personal defense is illegal in Canada. Bear spray is a bit of a gray area – it’s illegal if carried for personal defense in an area where you’re unlikely to see bears (i.e., downtown Vancouver) but legal (recommended even) if you’re a frequent outdoorsman. However, if you use bear spray on a person you can be charged with possession and use of an illegal weapon. Considering JY often goes to Harrison Hot Springs and he probably said he’s a hiker or something, it’s probably that the bear spray context was legal. Bears are common in that area.

I took a few minutes to browse the Damsel in Defense website and they also feature a “Holla Hers Personal Alarm” pendant you can wear or carry. I compared the audio from the video in this MeowMix article where Yaniv hilariously sets the alarm off to a YouTube clip showing the same product and the sound is identical.

Perhaps the funniest part to me is that Yaniv bought these a a Damsel in Defense rep. DiD is a multi-level marketing company, where people sign up to sell products manufactured by DiD under the guise of self defense. They’re overpriced tokens of safety. Any woman would be better served spending that same money on a self defense course or at the very least a high-quality defense “weapon” from a proper store.

Not only that, but DiD uses real women’s rapes, kidnapping, and murders to advertise their products. I get that these are real problems but using real stories is shady as fuck.

I’m too lazy to go back to look but I seem to recall that Yaniv said that a friend gave him these items. Considering they can’t be sold in Canada, and there are no DiD reps in Canada, I question that story. I wonder if he bought them in Vegas one year and smuggled them home, or perhaps a trip over the border into Washington state. We’ll never know. It’s funny that he says a friend gave them to him when what’s most likely is that someone online conned him into buying from their MLM.

EDIT…I went back and found this. Called it!

Sucker in a dress….

20210406 - JY Weapons Charges - 490 Order - Forfeiture
Download 19.2 KB